"Pft, a Goth Club in Puerto Rico is like a Sushi Restaurant under the sea."
Then, I go back to the page. What details could I have missed? Is this web page lying? Did I misread anything? And then, I realized I have committed one of my biggest fails that sent my face directly into my palm:
The page has not been updated ever since 2006.
EDIT: So there IS a Goth club in Puerto Rico! ...Or Goth parties, to be exact. Two people have informed me of this place called Soprano's (The name ♥) in Cataño that has Goth parties every Saturday. ALSO,the girl working at the tattoo parlour next to my house informed me that San Juan has occasional Goth parties as well.