There have been rumours of Lady Gaga planning to go to Puerto Rico ever since 2009. I remember a girl in my school saying that Lady Gaga was coming to Puerto Rico, but the Puerto Rican Government wasn't going to allow her because she had a penis (ugh...). Another time I heard another rumour was in 2010 or '11 when there was a picture of a fake poster of a Lady Gaga Puerto Rico concert that was using an old picture of her and was supposedly sponsored by Medalla. You could expect that I was very sceptical when it was announced that her concert in Puerto Rico was officially announced. In my mind I was: "No... It can't be true... I have to ask Carolina..." In case you didn't know, Carolina is my Gaga-obsessed friend. She is the biggest little monster I have ever met. She knows absolutely everything about Gaga, so she is my official Gaga source. *SPOILER ALERT* She said yes, it's official. I was in shock, and I HAD to go. When the day of the release of tickets arrived, I rushed like a mother fucker to Ticket Pop to buy the tickets. I got a hold of them until I realised: "Holy shit, I didn't ask my mum for permission to buy the tickets." I ran to her bedroom, and she told me that I had permission. YAAAY!!! I went to Ticket Pop again to buy the arena tickets, until a horrible thing happened: "These tickets are not available".
It can't be.
...Until I refreshed the page and bought my ticket. Teehee!
I have to say that at first I HATED Lady Gaga. I hated her because I hated pop music. In short, it was done mostly out of rebellion. I wanted to shock everyone in my class, 'cause my attitude was: "omgzzz im soo hardcoar gaizzz look at me how diffrent and speshul i am!!!!11!!one!!" Why did I have that attitude? I was bitter because I got kicked out of art school. I got separated from my friends and I was going to enter a rich-kid school. Absolutely hated it. Later on, I realised that that attitude was totally pointless, and that I shouldn't judge people just because they like Katy Perry or they are bathing in money. The same way I hated that everyone judged me for the way I was, I shouldn't judge everyone for the way they were. Slowly, I started liking Gaga, until I found myself listening to her songs every once in a while. I also adored her personality, even though she did a few slip-ups (But hey, nobody's perfect). After this concert, I lost every doubt I had in her, I adore Gaga.
Now, on with the concert.
I had an arena ticket, so I had to come early, or else I would be in the butt of the audience. I wanted to camp out with my friend Carolina and J.J., however my mother wasn't going to allow me. Then I told her if I could skip school and come at 7:00 a.m., but she responded: "ANDREA, YOU AIN'T SKIPPING NO DAY OF SCHOOL" I left school early, showered, ate and dressed myself in a flash.
I arrived at around 3:15 p.m. to the Choliseo, and there was a huuuuge line. "Oh shit", I thought to myself. Luckily, my friend Luigi was there ever since 11 a.m., so he was almost at the front of the line and he let me cut (God bless his flamboyant little soul). Later on my friend Ana, her little sister, and a friend of hers arrived and waited with us too. While we waited in line, TONS of people took pictures with me, I even appeared on El Nuevo Día's twitter and newspaper!
|Twitter Pic. From left to right: Luigi, Ana, Me and Ana's little sister.|
I took pictures with some impeccably dressed fans.
|God damn it, Ana.|
What surprised me though, was how mean some people of the audience were. Some woman started threatening my friend Ana and started up a fight with her, and this girl behind me started yelling at me that my bag "was the size of a human fucking baby". I told her that I couldn't do anything about it, and she said: "then don't bring a fucking bag to a concert". Of course, people don't take consideration when one is wearing a ton of make-up that one needs reapplying, or if one might get dehydrated and need water, or if one needs their wallet. There was a lot of pushing and shoving that ended up us making us more packed than a can of Carmela sausages. Another problem was that EVERYONE WAS DEHYDRATED. The water vendor was not passing through the arena, everyone was begging for water, and nobody was going to move out of their place. This is particularly dangerous, because people can faint out of dehydration. Everyone's backs were hurting, and since I wasn't going to let my feet cramp, I gave my feet a little break from wearing the huge platforms I had. Let me also mention that I was sick and on my days, so I felt like exquisite crap. If a cold epidemic starts in Puerto Rico, it's my fault. Also, I accidentally uncovered some cheaters in one of the pictures I took of the concert, loloops.
I had no idea who the opening acts were until I saw a little box in the corner of the stage that said: "The Darkness". When I saw that little box, I lost my shit. I fucking LOVE The Darkness. I was so surprised they were going to open and I couldn't wait until they came up on stage. The night was officially sealed as the best night of my life. One of my favourite bands performing with Lady Gaga?! This was going to be unforgettable.
The first opening act was Lady Starlight, Gaga's best friend ever since her beginnings.
Um... She was okay. The thing is that many people didn't understand Lady Starlight's concept, because her performance is better suited for a cabaret or alternative club, not a Lady Gaga concert. Many people hated her show, so I felt bad for her because I enjoyed it.
Any ways, on with The Darkness. I was so pumped up! When they all stepped on stage, I screamed my lungs out. This was going to be fucking epic.
...And it was! All of the members of The Darkness are great performers. It's quite exhilarating hearing Justin perform those high notes live! He's impressive 'cause he can hit the notes in a soprano middle-high range. Amazing, simply amazing. Justin is a hilarious and very fun front man. He did crazy tricks on stage like standing on his head and clapping with his legs, and joked around with us, probably trolling us (he told us to start imitating his singing patterns, which is no biggie for me, but for everyone else it was a pain in the ass).The Darkness is definitely one of the most fun and impressive bands I have seen perform live. I'm dying to see them live again.
|Dat Justin Hawkins.|
After the Darkness performed, we waited in anticipation for Gaga. We were all thirsty, tired, and impatient. Gaga's commercial for her perfume got us falsely excited, but we stopped giving a shit about her perfume, we wanted Gaga! The lights turned off, and the audience roared, I admit I spaced out for half a second, so I didn't notice that the curtain fell until I heard the audience losing their shit.
There was some political overtones in her performances, and no, it's not the illuminati. Obviously there was the statements about gay marriage, shown by the little interlude where two of her male dancers dress up in a bride and groom attire to trick the guitar-holding priest into marrying them. Once the priest finds out that the couple is a same-sex couple, he backs off showing his repulsion, leaving the couple heartbroken. There was also the feminist statement on how women are treated like meat, showed in "Americano". Gaga and all the dancers are dressed in meat dresses, and Gaga said something about "You all treat women like meat!" or something like that.
The moment of excitement was when Gaga was calling up people on stage, and to be honest, I really wanted her to call me up. Instead she called up this young man in a wheel chair who seemed to be a bigger fan of Gaga than I was, so he deserved it way more than I did. It was the cutest moment ever! Gaga dedicated the song "Hair" to him and kissed him on the lips, he was so happy, and the whole coliseum was chanting his name. It was the best moment of his life. I cried out of joy for him. You go, dude.
The encore was a great bonus to the show, and when she called up people on stage again, this time I was determined, so I took off my glasses and started swinging them around like a madwoman. Again, I failed. Aw.
But who cares? Gaga's concert was performance Nirvana. She had such spectacular dancers, stage, and presence. It was truly a grand night. Not to mention she was opened by The Darkness! It was all like a dream!
|...And the night was indeed very, very gay. As gay as it could be.|
Now, I must command all of you to go to Carolina's twitter and tell her how happy you are for her, and that she is a flawless human being.
That's all folks! Now I have to go to bed, because I am dying right now because of the cold. Toodles!